Rebuking The Repayment of Evil for Evil

"To do evil that good may come of it is contrary to the doctrine of Christianity; that when times are so cloudy that we cannot go forward in the way of clearness and purity, it behooves us in the depth of humility to wait on the Lord to know his mind concerning us and our children."- John Woolman

Kim Davis....oh Kim Davis...

The now infamous Clerk in Rowan County Kentucky who continues to this day, in defiance of even the Supreme Court, under the claimed authority of God....to refuse to issues marriage licenses.

I will not lie...she makes me angry.  Irrationally angry maybe, considering all the massive indignities and sufferings that LGBTQ people across the globe wake up to every day...why have the actions of this one particularly public official continued to get me so steamed? Maybe its because its an easy situation for me to sympathize with or imagine, which is to say, I can imagine walking through those courthouse doors with the determination to get a marriage license and being met with her cold stare.

I don't have complete answers or understanding around my anger towards Kim Davis...but I have been aware how my own anger has been making me uncomfortable.  I'm having to sit with what I choose to say about her for longer than normal, and when I have spoken quickly, I have regretted it.

For example, I made a pretty glib/generic "dustbin of history" posting in reference to her on Facebook toward the beginning of the whole ordeal.  Shortly after posting that, a friend who I haven't seen in years, but who I knew was from Kentucky, left a comment.  It was brief, and was simply a reminder that this person was from his hometown, and that this situation was what he woke up to confront in his own backyard.

I felt ashamed as I climbed down off my moral high horse.  I was ashamed that, with none of my personal skin on the line really, I made a pronouncement from Oregon about something that was being experienced in a very real way by a friend.  I was ashamed because I had to admit that in posting that, I was indulging some subconscious thoughts which generalized all of Kentucky as backwards.  How did I not know any better than that? I lived in Georgia for a year for God's sake! I remember feeling the hints of frustration after leaving how people would talk about "the South" hearing it with new ears.  Hello Northwest liberals, "the South" isn't a monolith, and there are just as progressive people there as there are in Oregon, and the inverse is true of us.  I should have known better than to think what I had begun to about Kentucky, when my anger was towards one person, but I missed the mark.

The days have continued and I've still posted about and followed the story as it has developed, hopefully a bit more sensitive than I was that particular day.  I am still convinced that what Kim is doing is evil, and that she is morally responsible for the harm she is doing.  I have extremely little patience for the famous progressive Christians who have come out with huge epics about how we need to forgive her and pray for her and yada yada yaaaaddaaaaaa....ok, reeling it in.  I get where they are coming from, I really do.  I get the long-righteous suffering Christian narrative, but I also think there has to be SOME consideration given to the target of the oppression versus the oppressor.

Yes, pray for those who persecute you. Duh.  However, if in your calls to lift up Kim Davis, you haven't paid equal attention to the queer couples who have faced daily humiliation at her hand, or the LGBTQ kids in Kentucky, then I have to be honest and question if it is coming from a place of centered listening, or more from a place of keeping up Christian appearances.  I admit I could very well be wrong on that entire point.

Finally, the reason for the biggest part of my anger at the moment, and one that I want to rebuke, has arisen from amongst LGBTQ folks and allies.

Surprised? Yeah me too to be honest....and if anyone knows me, you know the word rebuke is generally not in my rotation of go-to words, but my feelings about it are that strong.

I've seen people leap to vicious and uncalled for ad hominem attacks about Kim relating to generally three things, her physical appearance, her clothes, and her pervious marriages.

Starting with the last one....which maybe I can kind of understand its origins more....I think people bring up her previous marriages because of the many biblical references to divorce.  In one way I can understand pointing out the hypocrisy of someone claiming to value marriage so much, but only to a point, because I know absolutely nothing about those relationships she had.  Lets play out a hypothetical shall we?

Lets assume that her marriages ended because they were abusive....now how do you feel bringing those up against her? Like an ass I bet...

That was an extreme, but I think it proves the point that we shouldn't weaponize someone else's relationships when we simply do not know so much about them.  Maybe there is a way to use that point to bring the hypocrisy to light....but I personally cannot see it.  The evil she is perpetrating is not made more evil by bringing up that history, it only invites a dangerous coldness into our hearts.  

The last two...I'll handle together.

How can a community that has been on the receiving end of so many bullies, from the schoolyard to the halls of Congress, seriously mock another human being in this way?  How could a community that suffers immensely, more than any other, from body-image issues and eating disorders, seriously cackle about the way a person looks? Shame on us.

Let me say it plainly, I don't spend a lot of money on fashionable clothes, I don't get expensive haircuts, and I am short and overweight.  I've been made fun of for being unattractive and for how I dress, and it was wrong.  I am a human being god dammit and so is she.  So if you have a single comment to make about her hair, her clothes, or any part of the way God made her body....well, if Kim was in the room with me, I'd stand in front of her and rebuke you before I'd allow her to hear your evil thoughts.

What Kim is doing is evil, but I utterly reject the repayment of evil for evil.

Ok...reeling it in a bit.  Thanks for making it through this post with me dear readers, I'd love to hear your thoughts on what I got right or what I am missing.  Maybe some of what I said resonated with how you've been feeling? I won't write anger blogs like this often, but it just felt very important to do tonight.